XTC :: Generals and Majors
Living in and around DC is totally creepy. When I first moved here I was definitely not ready to see people rocking cammo outfits, standing in line at Starbucks on their way to work at the Pentagon. From the intelligence I’ve gathered to date, Marines are really into White Mocha Soy Frapuccinos. However I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a penchant for Double-Berry Coffee Crumb Cakes. That information is what we Beltway Insiders call ‘close-hold.’
Anyway, I was doubly not ready to see unmarked black vans surrounding a huge missile launcher perched on top of the freaking parking garage I pass on my way to work every morning. Note: according to my calculations, the missile launcher appears to be aimed directly at my office. Not to worry though, every other day I am reassured of my homeland’s perpetual and manifest safety by the supersonic jet fighters scrambling above head or the Apache attack helicopters floating ominously past the Washington Monument. Speaking of the monument, that thing is creepy too! It has glowing red eyes at night. I kid you not! I’m also pretty certain it whispers nasty things about me when I pass by it. Am I starting to sound paranoid? Good. That’s the point. Because when you’re at a bar / party and casually ask the stranger you’ve been having a warm conversation with what they do for a living, then all of sudden everyone around you stops talking and all at once starts dialing the same number on their cell phones, then the stranger tells you in a cold, flat tone that they work for the State Department and abruptly walks out of the bar / party you know you’re living in a creepy town surrounded by creepy people doing creepy things for an extremely creepy administration. It does start to grow on you after awhile though.
Then again, so does fungus… especially weaponized fungus created and released by a rogue DARPA scientist masquerading as a reclusive British rock genius. Please, stay calm everyone: The war is almost over.
Generals and Majors (5.7MB MP3)
XTC (homepage)
anonymous said on monday, july 07th, 2008
joshua said on monday, july 07th, 2008
I love how this post re-contextualizes the holiday weekend.
I also love licorice.
vj said on tuesday, july 08th, 2008
Kelly V.??
Licorice, huh? I wouldn’t have pegged you as a licorice lover.
Kelly R. said on tuesday, july 08th, 2008
Kelly Reynolds, I am.
wait, licorice is made of cow’s hooves, isn’t it?
vj said on tuesday, july 08th, 2008
AhA! Thanks K-dawg…if that is your real name???dun-dun-duuun.
joshua said on tuesday, july 08th, 2008
Naw, it’s glue that’s made of cow’s hooves. When I went vegan the real struggle wasn’t avoiding dairy, it was giving up huffing.
anika said on wednesday, july 09th, 2008
d.c. sounds like my kinda fun. the weaponized kind, i mean. how long before they notice that you are just pretending to work a super-secret double-blind job? as much as i don’t want to be traced (and know it would be so easy to do so), it would be kinda sad to have a new identity.
Alison said on sunday, july 20th, 2008
Word. Having just gone to a party last night where somehow the whole freakin US Embassy in Bogota showed up, I can relate. How is it that I never seem to have showered when I run in to those people? And why do they drink Budwiser while in Colombia? I mean seriously…bad Colombian beer is better. Weirdos. Oh, shoot, they are probably reading this…not again…
you are being watched
just kidding, hi VJ, cool blog!
best,
Kelly